Monday, August 4, 2014

So you think your spouse is cheating

Cheating spouses cases are not the primary cases that our agency works. We do get them and we do work them. The cases themselves need to be handled delicately from the beginning when the client that is calling through the conclusion of the investigation. Often times you will receive a call from a client who is hesitant to explain that they need help to access whether their significant other is stepping out of the relationship. They talk about the emotional pain and mental anguish that is involved, the feeling of guilt for having these suspicions, the feeling like they may be going crazy also. They have noticed that the work hours have become later, that the phones are turned off or the person is not as easily accessible as they had been in the past. They notice that the cellphone is underneath the pillow,or always face down. Be it male or female the emotion in these phone calls is the same. Some people have been married for decades only to have this happen to them now, while some people have only been dating for weeks. In my experience womens suspicions have been more validated, their intuition a little more in tune with the difference. 

We had a client that believed that her husband was having an affair with a neighbor of theirs. Our client was not able to prove it and her husband would tell her that she was crazy and even seem insulted that she would insinuate such a thing. However our client noticed that when she got home from work certain things would be in disarray, also her husband now started going to the gym (after years of not going) and after leaving she would notice the neighbor leaving about ten minutes later. His phone which used to sit on the nightstand would now be underneath his pillow on silent. Our client had enough and wanted to know if her suspicions were valid or was she just being overly sensitive. After hearing her story we determined what would be the best approach on her case. We found that obviously the gym time would be the best time. So we established our surveillance and waited for the subject. As luck would have it, the first night of surveillance the subject did not go to the gym, neither did he the second night or third. However on the fourth night the subject entered into his vehicle and off to the supposed gym he went, we followed him at length where he eventually arrived at a park on the other side of town. He waited in his vehicle and we observed him talking on his phone for a brief moment. Shortly after another vehicle shows up and sure enough it was the neighbor that our client suspected was being to friendly with her husband. They both exit the vehicle, embrace and kiss, and start walking through the park hand in hand. We observed them walking and sitting in the grass, at times embracing and kissing. About an hour later they walk back to their vehicles, give one last long kiss and the husband departs. We of course followed him back to his residence. Approximately ten minutes later the neighbor arrived at her residence. Now comes the hardest part, at least for us, the part were you tell the client that she is not crazy, that her husband is cheating on her, and that it is with the person that she suspected. The clients response goes from being happy that they are not losing it, to the rage that this is actually happening, and to the sadness and realization that things are going to be forever changed, and of course the big question of what to do with the information that you have? Do you get a divorce, do you seek counseling, do you confront the neighbor?  What happens next?

Another case that comes to mind again has to do with a wife suspecting that her husband was cheating. She suspected that he may have been cheating with a co-worker but she was not absolutely sure. The first night we conducted surveillance at his work place. After he exited work he went into his vehicle and we observed him speaking with an unknown women in her vehicle. We of course took the license plate down for future reference. The subject then departed the area and was followed to a gas station where he sat and waited for a long period of time. After sitting at the gas station for thirty minutes he departed and went to a restaurant. He went in and we noted that there were several of his co-workers there including the girl that he was speaking with in the parking lot. After about an hour or so he takes off from the restaurant and departs the area, we try to follow him but he manages to get through a light and we were not able to do so. We break off for the night, in the morning time we find out from our client that the subject did not come back home. We go back out the following day, this time we canvass the parking lot and find the vehicle that the woman our subject was speaking to. We note that there are two parking permits, one for a local junior college, and another for what appeared to be a condo or apartment complex with the name of the complex branded on the sticker. The woman gets off work first, we note the direction that she is departing in. An hour passes and our subject gets out of work. He enters into his vehicle and does not head in the direction of his residence, he instead heads in the same direction as the woman. We follow him and eventually he comes to an apartment complex we will call Centerstone, the same name that we observed on the parking permit sticker in the woman's window. He parks in the parking lot right next to the woman that we observed him speaking to's vehicle. He gets out and runs into the apartment building.  He enters into an apartment out of view. He stays overnight. We of course have to relay the news to our client, that her suspicions have been affirmed and her husband is in fact staying over at this woman's apartment. Our client calls us the next day and states that her husband stated he was only staying over there in the guest room and that nothing was going on. Our client of course did not believe him. We later confirmed with the apartment manager that the unit that the woman lived in was only one bedroom, no guest room to sleep in at all. 

A lot of times people work through the infidelity. As a rule I personally do not advise whether a couple should stay together or not. I believe that only God and the people involved should make that determination. I have found that a lot of different reasons are utilized to justify the behavior, again I do not judge, sometimes things just fall apart, sometimes people want to feel like they are still appealing, sometimes they just want to feel loved. Or they could just want their cake and to eat it too. Whatever the reason may be, I do know that cheating can have repercussions, and before you decide to cross the line you need to evaluate the possibilities and what will happen if you get caught, and believe me, no matter how tricky you are, you eventually will get caught. If you have a family is it going to be worth potentially splitting them up, or God forbid catching something from a person and having to deal with that for life? Are you mentally prepared for having to essentially live two different lives and deal with when the affair turns into another relationship? If the person you are out philandering with has a family, are you willing to jeopardize that family in order to get what you want? Again I do not judge, we each have to make our own decisions and deal with the fall out or rewards from them. Just make sure that whatever decision you make, you are prepared for it. 

Morrow Detective Agency is a licensed private investigation firm located on the border of Ventura and Los Angeles, Ca in Simi Valley, CA. Morrow Detective Agency is capable of performing surveillance, process service, locates, background investigations, asset investigations, and more. Please feel free to visit our website at or give us a call at (805) 823-3540 and allow us to make your problem our solution!


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